Operation “catch and release” (Which, was planned without my consent I may add) found me crouched down in frozen dew, attempting to expediently excavate the tiny dog-food-stealing criminal from the Tupperware container into a pile of leaves with only 20 minutes to spare before my appointment.
…The wide-eyed field mouse that I was now annoyed by -but nonetheless determined to save- took his good ol’ sweet time heading off into the sunset. (Side note: I am not sure who was surprised more- the mouse when I scooped him from the dog food container that he had decided to call home or me by him flinging his tiny body two feet into the air when I did it.) …and, this begins the shitshow that was my morning)
Once finally freed, (for the love you ungrateful little pantry dweller!) I raced back to the house, realizing I now had just 15 minutes to put fuel in my gas tank and get across town. You see–I had scheduled the ‘perfect’ day of self-care for the afternoon to celebrate ya’ll. I was named an Artpop 2019 Artists! (A kind of big deal and a I hope a means of getting my women’s portraiture work out into the universe. –I am SO honored!). I intentionally made a point to take the day in and not just make it yet another day of “‘accomplishing” vs. being- a cardinal sin of which most of us entrepreneurs are guilty.
“…My keys. Where in the actual f&ck are my keys?”
I remember husband had them last and proceed to turn every square inch of the house upside down. He can’t be reached (appointments.) and.. I am 5 minutes to missing my therapist appointment. (I hadn’t seen her in a few years and with holidays always being difficult for me I considered spending the morning with her the ultimate self-care ritual followed by looking for a new dress to wear, amongst other plans to supremely enjoy this day,
Alas. I was becoming unhinged.
The anger I felt at my husband for misplacing my keys (again.)… and not responding to my texts and call…. at the mouse for scaring the shit out of me and starting what was looking ver much like a downward spiral…I focused on all the “annoyance.”
My studio manager then messaged to let me know a second client this week has canceled their art order (which never happens in our studio.) More spiral.
Tell off husband and accuse him of “ruining my day.”
Attempt to get some work done. (Lose a blog post as my computer dies)
Decide it is ME who gets to choose how this day goes down.
Readjust my thinking.
Decide to to treat myself to a Thai lunch complete with a glass of sauvignon blanc to REFRAME this day.
NEXT UP: a warm donut, a manicure and off to shop for an outfit tonight.
Do donuts and manicures and wine change the outcome of this day? Absolutely not.
Self-care is more about the deciding in my book. DECIDING that what started as a shit morning was not going to allow me to ruin my own joy.
Cheers to me!
Psst: if you want to get a sneak peek at my Artpop piece chosen for this year’s class–she is right here:-)
Title: Societal Expectations
Original: digital photograph on canvas with a bees wax finish. She hangs in Bungalow 1325 in Plaza in Plaza Midwood on soon, on a billboard here in Charlotte NC:-)