From Good Girl to Grown-Ass Woman

Carrie Wren, Life + Small Biz Coach

Submit your most pressing Life, Leadership, Relationship, or other quandaries, and I’ll pick one each month to respond to in the column. In addition, the lucky chosen inquirer will receive a complimentary 90-minute coaching session with the Life Coach (that’s me!) to take a deep-dive into your question (and generate insight + action!).Submit your most pressing Life, Leadership, or Love quandaries. Each month, I’ll select one to answer in this column. Bonus: you’ll also score 90 juicy minutes of coaching with yours truly.

Q: A long-term client hasn’t paid for our most recent work together. I’ve sent several invoices, without receiving reimbursement. This is a dear client; I obviously want to collect payment, AND I want to maintain the relationship. Help! ~ K.

A: Hello, my dear K! Thanks so much for bringing this inquiry to the Grown-Ass {Biz} Woman conversation. All of us who have been in business for any amount of time have certainly run up against some version of this scenario at one point or another. We do a job, send a bill, and… wait. Meanwhile, we get nervous (Did I do a good job? What if she didn’t like my work?), then concerned (Is Dear Client ok? I wonder what’s going on. I hope everything is alright!), and finally, mad as hell (How dare she! Doesn’t she know how hard I work? What a slap in the face!).

Sound familiar?

Yeah. Thought so. What a waste of your precious energy, and, might I add: it’s beneath you.

So what now?

First things first: notice the story. Notice all the made-up narratives your mind has created about what may, or more likely may not, be going on. You can choose to buy into any of the stories… but I wouldn’t recommend it. What I would recommend is identifying each and every one of the stories and accompanying emotions that are in your space. Otherwise, they’re just going to be lurking around in the shadows, waiting to pop out at any moment. And, just to clarify, note that I did NOT say “notice and then express all of your feelings in an overly caffeinated text to your client.”

Next, get clear on the facts. Not from a place of building a case against your client; simply to get crystal clear on what’s so. What is your agreement with your client? How does your contract read? What has and hasn’t happened?

Now, from a place of taking full-on responsibility for your biz, put on your Grown-Ass Woman panties and choose what’s next. Choose how you want to be about it, and then take action that is in line with your highest values and commitments: in your business, with yourself, and with others.

Notice that I’m not telling you WHAT to do next. There are a million ways that you could ultimately respond: send a passive aggressive text. Initiate a conversation at your next encounter. Request that your assistant give Dear client a call. Keep being resentful about it. The list could go on. I’m actually not attached to any particular outcome for you in this situation, beyond your sorting out the stories and emotions, getting clear on the facts, and ultimately taking action from a place that is consistent with who you are and what you’re about. And trusting yourself to boot. Now, go forth and prosper.

I believe in you.


What’s troubling you? Send me a note at Let’s get you off of the Good Girl sidelines to playing BIG in Life and Business like the Grown-Ass Woman you are.

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