Monthly Stats:
Times I Have Felt Like an Imposter- At least once a Day
Number of Things I Find To Do To  Avoid Doing The Things I Need to Do- Countless
Days I Have Survived- Every Single One So Far (Woo Hoo!)

I am An Entrepeneur.
Damn It!

I can’t spell entrepreneur.

Is there any way you can possibly succeed at something you can’t spell?

That question- and many others- are what’s keeping me up at night….  Along with worrying about the skyrocketing cost of health insurance and the thought of growing old in a really nasty nursing home if I don’t save enough for retirement.

Sometimes I get nostalgic and like to throw in some of the things I used to worry about before I went off on my own… like the jerky lawyers on the other side of some of my cases, my inability to find time to exercise (which is only heightened by those who feel compelled to announce each and every time they work out via social media), etc.  Those things all seem so… small… now.

I am also slightly concerned about the amount of time I spend talking to myself- and, at times, answering myself. While that habit is nothing new (I’m an introvert- Many days I only want to talk to me!), I find that the disconnect between my outside voice and inside voice seems to be growing larger with every passing day….

Outside Voice: I am confident and secure.
Inside Voice:  What the hell am I doing?

Outside Voice: My office is organized.
Inside Voice:  The piles are in a line.  Sort of.

Outside Voice: My Things to Do list is alphabetized and color coded.
Inside Voice:  The first (and only) item on my list is to make a list.

Outside Voice: Everything is under control.
Inside Voice:  Nothing is under control.

Outside Voice: “I’m great.  How are YOU?”
Inside Voice: “Please don’t notice that I am wearing mismatched shoes.” (or at least laugh with me instead of at me when you do….)

In the meantime, I think I can at least cross one thing off my imaginary Things to Do list…
Learn to spell Entrepeneur,
Damn It!

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